Easy does it

So I don’t write in a while. That is a good sign. Busy I should be doing more novel type things but learning the guitar, blogs, and I admit some cpu games and downloaded movies take up some time. Working back into shape and having to cook to keep on a strict diet. Which I will say if you like to cook is worth the work. Anyhow, being in korea you can do this. The school paying for the apartment comes in huge, especially since Cleos care takes a little bit on cash. Other than her unpleasant visits to the vet once or twice a month she is happy and loves her wall length window. She spends the days sunbathing and the nights watching me buzz around. The expat life has taken hold. The US is just so prohibitive. How could one possible survive going to school and working. Things cost too much and the whole myth of freedom to move up is finally being shown to all. I can be quite bitter about the occurances of the last decade. When who second guesses himself as I used to had over analyzed things to death can still be honest with himself and say he had the vision of the present day a decade sooner with the clarity of a clarivoyant it twists their head. Two things, the whole depression crap through my youth and my ability as a young man to be basically a head of the world but still failing miserably too take advantage pretty much leaves me unable to relate to many. Fully experience self hatred, arrogance, genius, stupidity and the acceptance of each puts me in an ideal spot. I line up other the paths I chose not to take and analyze the logical out comes of what would, could and should have happened with what could should and possible from where I stand now, I win. People have called me crazy, and I proved them all wrong. Not rich not successful as far as the status quot is concerned, but that where all that mind talk I mentioned above comes in, I don’t give a shit.
Are expats practicing escapism? A little. Are they setting up and plotting for bigger moves? Also possible. Perhaps they just have found a more comfortable place in purgatory. A place where they can see a bit of the world, and in my case not have to hear the mass’s of idiots on the mass media in the states. I watch movies, and tv with no commercials, no salesmen, lawyers, ball busting cops, bullshit trends and the idiots who follow them. No sensationalistic bullshit. Its as iff there were a million tv’s blasting away with snow and someone just unplugged them all. Now you are left to you’re own devices and can choose what to plug in at your leisure. You leave home, and look back at the “townies” often in amazement. You leave the country and look back with the same amazement. Do I miss America? No. I miss some beaches, bbq’s. Home is where the heart is no? Home is where you rest your head and where your mind wanders. Home is no town no country. No sir, I bitched about what was going to happen ther for years and all called me nuts, I escaped by the skin of my ass, they can sit on it. The only thing my chicken little act got me beside worry and heart ache was escape to a place where I can ignore and be ignored. So I am done with stressing on the return. Like a leaf in the wind doing enough to find a new gust is all. Anytime one can work on that creation that is themselves happily with little regret or stress, that person should find themselves blessed. The powers at be has delivered me from many things its time to enjoy wide eyed and to see what else they have in store.